On the heels of the heavily anticipated release of CS5, Adobe has announced the release of CS6, which takes the advances of CS5 and pushes the limits of what is possible with today’s hardware and software platforms. Copies of CS6 hit stores this week and was made available for download this past Monday. Both Adobe and Apple have sung praises over the latest release of the creative suite, saying that creatives today cannot hope to advance as professionals without the groundbreaking suite, and that this latest platform is a must-have for creative work in the 21st century. Only macs that have been released in the past 6 months are capable of running the new software, so many designers and creative artists will need to upgrade.

Of course, this opening paragraph is fabricated. But I wanted to illustrate how I feel lately about the current trend of Adobe releasing a new creative suite every 12-18 months, requiring me to sometimes not only update my software at $800+ a pop, but also sometimes necessitating upgrades to my mac, or a new mac entirely.

The release of CS5 signals a fork in the road for me. I will need to buy a new mac and operating system in order to keep up with the current trend. I do operate in a creative field, which means that I also have to keep up appearances. This requires an endless cycle of updating my retro sneakers, slim-fit pants, tight-fitting polo shirts with big collars, mirrored Ray-Bans, clever screenprinted messenger bags, designery big-ass watches, the latest ironic haircuts, and big pretty macs with bigger, prettier screens to impress upon your clients your inherent creativity and uncanny ability to keep your finger on the pulse of designer culture.

Well, the big secret is that I’m not cool. I’m a dad that lives in a quiet, perfectly boring neighborhood that I love. I mow the lawn on Saturdays. I cook macaroni & cheese and make peanut butter sandwiches for my son. One of my favorite objects is my demolition pry bar. I ride a cheap, bone-stock mountain bike. I get my hair cut at a mall. I don’t buy clothes. I just wear what people buy me. And I don’t make a lot of money, so I carry a messenger bag that was given to me in 2003 by a rep from a national salon product company. I use paper and pen. I don’t like iPhones, iPods, or iPads. I don’t need them and I find they are time wasters. They also become smudgy pieces of shit after 5 minutes of use. Do you know how ridiculous you look when you’re constantly wiping that screen? I’m wondering how many OCDs have been launched with the release of these things. I’d like to make an iPhone clone that has only one thing displayed on the screen: GO OUTSIDE.

And now, I’m seriously contemplating using a PC to do my work. Hold on, I hear a knock at the door…

…I’m back, my license has just been revoked by the creative police.

To be honest Steve Jobs, I bought this mac a few years ago, and now it’s pretty much useless, unless I need a new file server, which I don’t. My first mac lasted close to 8 years, and this one lasted 4. I can do the math. If I could go Linux, I would have.

BIG SECRET #2: I used PhotoShop 6 and InDesign 1.5 the other day to work on a project. Why? to prove that my work was just as good on the old platform (using OS9, which screamed by the way.) The lesson here is that Adobe and Apple are just tools that I use to get my ideas out. They are not necessities. They are merely tools. The only thing you need to cultivate your creativity is a brain that is capable of producing creative thoughts and a method to translate your inner world to the outer world. And I’m getting tired of spending thousands every year or two on new tools when the old ones worked just fine. If I go Windows, at least I can keep my box for several years and when I need to upgrade I can do it for a fraction of the cost.

What I’d really like to see is some big agency declare that enough is enough. I want the creative field to demand more than just some upgraded brush patterns for $800. I’m taking a stand. Is there anyone else that feels this way?